Write Like You Talk

When you Write Like You Talk, you are doing just that, write in the same way, using the same words, vernacular, and grammar that you use when you speak out loud.  Include the "ummms.."  or the "ya knows" or the "likes"–whatever verbage and wordage you use every day. Now, sometimes students get caught up in the "Well, I have different voices for different people and scenerios."  The work voice, the home voice, the gabbing-with-your-buddies voice.  I don't want you to over think this, so, just grab a pen and write like you talk.  Read on to see a few samples.

Sample  1

yeah, so, mom was pissed when she found out i had class, i mean, not really, but i could tell she wasn't happy which is kind of ridiculous, you know? i mean, she doesn't do anything anyway, it's like she wants the day open in her mind, even if she just wastes it so i got off the phone feeling like an asshole for wanting to go, like i was wrong because i didn't think there was class to begin with. it's stupid. i mean, it is my birthday, i was even thinking about not going because sometimes i just don't want to deal with her. she says she's fine with taking ronan and then she gives off this energy, you know? i mean, i already feel like i can't do anything with ronan as it is and she's like "sure i'll help, keri, just drop him off" but then she's pissed...it's just bullshit. i'm so sick of it. i wish she would just say, i can't do it, if she can't. i mean i can't read minds, it's not my fucking job. then she gets on me about ronan and the cat. she feels bad for him because she's convinced he's traumatized by ronan. "he's too young for an animal"okay. now what? he's fine. he has a good life, and no, i don't like to be the policeman between the two but i do it, and i sometimes i let it slip but kodiak is laid back, it's not like he's having a heart attack while he's hugging him or something and he's pretty gentle with him anyway. she just was in such a pissy mood today, it bothered me.

By Keri N. 

Sample 2

Listen to this headline I just saw on the Internet:
 
Bidding on cereal flake shaped like Illinois tops $6,000.
 
Holy crap!  What next?  At least it wasn't shaped like Jesus and/or Mary because there'd be a pilgrimmage to the location of that box of cereal.  Who thinks of this shit?
 
Speaking of Jesus and Mary . . . I remember once, I think it was television . . . or maybe an internet video . . . but there was this dirty streaky window in a house . . . someone thought the crud on the window resembled either Jesus or Mary and guess what - there was a pilgimmage.  The camera showed a big crowd of the faithful encroaching on these people's yard . . . then moved in for a close-up of the window and I thought . . . Holy crap! . . . It doesn't look like anything but a random swirl of streaks.  Wash your fucking window and put an end to this foolishness!   
 
By the way, the headline was a link to a video.  If it had been an article I probably would have read it and used the "e-mail to a friend" option so I could send it over to you.  Too bad there was no photo showing that Illinois cereal flake next to an outline of the state.  If I'd seen it maybe I wouldn't scoff so much.  Nah . . . I'd still be a scoffer.  Although, some dipstick just made six grand off a piece of cereal.  Then again . . . if I had food - or a dirty window, even - that looked like something . . . I'd probably say . . . "Hee hee, what a coincidence." . . . then I'd eat the food or wash the window . . . never even thinking that there might be money to be made.  Holy shit! . . . I'm the dipstick!
 
On further reflection . . . I don't see myself examining my cereal flakes one by one.  Let's leave that to the real dipsticks . . . the one's with more time than brains.

By Joanne Carnevale

Click here for more samples.